Day 65 — Communication Skill
My learning for the day
Today I want to summarise an ancient term Hubris from Greek Philosophers and a Hindu mythological story around Hubris.
What is Hubris?
(Sources — Oxford Dictionary)
Hubris is a behaviour to intentionally dishonour someone. Hubris comes mainly from excessive pride and overconfidence.
The best ancient discussion of hubris is found in Aristotle’s Rhetoric.
Aristotle’s definition of hubris is — doing and saying things at which the victim incurs shame, not in order that one may achieve anything other than what is done, but simply to get pleasure from it.
The cause of the pleasure for those committing hubris is that by harming people, they think themselves superior; that is why the young and the rich are hubristic, as they think they are superior when they commit hubris.
The Learning
- By shaming and insulting someone (especially in public), we create permanent enmity with that person
- In retaliation, the person may bring misery to us in future or may bring harm to himself out of self-pity
- Communication is a powerful tool; it has power to build someone or break
Story — Duryodhan’s insult (story from Mahabharat)
They say the cause of the war between Kaurav and Pandav brothers is Duryodhan’s insult by Draupadi.
Duryodhan (the heir apparent of the blind emperor Dhrutarashtra) and his entourage were invited to Pandava’s amazing palace called Mayasabha.
The palace was full of architectural wonders and many illusions built by the architect Maya. For example, what looked like a solid floor was actually a pool of water.
Duryodhan stepped on one such pool, and slipped waist-deep in water, drenched from head to foot.
Draupadi, the hostess and the Pandava queen and her maids saw this from the balcony and joked that what happened was normal; what more can we expect from a blind man’s son?
Such an irresponsible and hurting comment from Draupadi made Duryodhan angry and he vowed to kill Pandavas.
The Learning
Hurtful communication results in pain for the recipient. Commonly these messages are combinations of profanity, threats or attacks on appearance, competencies, origins or character. It causes a loss of self-worth for the recipient of the communication.
If you are the recipient of such communication, how will you respond? Here’s an example of a great response from Steve Jobs.
My learning so far on this topic
Day 5 post — 5 Ways to Build Your Personal Brand Every Time You Speak
Day 15 post — 3 Simple Frameworks to Give Effective Feedback
Day 25 post — Pixar’s top 6 Rules of Great Storytelling
Day 35 post — Two TED talks — How miscommunication happens (and how to avoid it) & The importance of emotional tone in the digital age
Day 45 post — Two Books — Skill with People & Made to Stick
Day 55 post — Two movies — The King’s Speech & Arrival
What is Communication Skill?
Communication Skill is the ability to effectively give and receive information.
Different types of communication — Verbal (oral/ written)/ Non-verbal/ Visual, Formal/ Informal, One-to-one/ One-to many…
The purpose of communication — to inform, to express feelings, to imagine, to influence, and to meet social expectations
How to improve this skill?
Set a goal to become a go-to person by mastering the art and science of communication.
Follow the LAST model to build your personal brand as a Guru of communication.
Learn — Invest time in learning different frameworks/ models/ techniques of communication
Apply -
Identify a model suitable to you
Create a template to document the flow of the process
Find opportunities to use the selected method/ template
Maintain record/ process flow of every important activity you did with respect to communication
Maintain notes of your thoughts/ insights/ failures/ challenges…. to be used for sharing/ training others
Share — Share the insights captured in step 2 above in a planned manner (social media posts, blogs, videos, study notes…)
Train — Generate opportunities to train your peers and team members so that, over time, your organization benefits from your efforts
Purpose of this document
I took a 66-day challenge to study Life Skills last year (10 April 2019). To my astonishment, I succeeded in studying for 66 days one skill a day.
My objectives in learning these skills were — To strengthen my mind to face life’s challenges with ease, To use these skills in my work life for better performance, To use these skills in my personal life for enriching my relationships, and To open new possibilities to surprise myself.
This is my next 66-day challenge (from 10 April 2020) — To share my Life Skills learning with my social media friends.
I pray that my toil helps you in your success journey.
What are Life Skills?
UNICEF defines Life skills as — psychosocial abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour that enable individuals to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life. They are loosely grouped into three broad categories of skills
- cognitive skills for analyzing and using information,
- personal skills for developing personal agency and managing oneself,
- interpersonal skills for communicating and interacting effectively with others.
Which LifeSkills are covered?
The World Health Organisation identified these basic areas of life skills that are relevant across cultures:
1. Decision-making
2. Problem-solving
3. Creative thinking
4. Critical thinking
5. Communication
6. Interpersonal skills
7. Self-awareness
8. Empathy
9. Coping with emotions
10. Coping with stress.
Some trivia
‘Life skills’ was never part of the school curriculum. WHO/ UNESCO mandated academia to teach these skills in all schools across the globe in 1993.
Different countries educate their children in these skills with different objectives
- Zimbabwe and Thailand — prevention of HIV/AIDS
- Mexico — prevention of adolescent pregnancy
- United Kingdom — child abuse prevention
- USA — prevention of substance abuse and violence
- South Africa and Colombia — positive socialization of children.
(Previously published on LinkedIn)